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thank you! i have been slacking off lately, a storm blew out my power for a week. i'm at the library now and i will get back soon!

1- make a new folder ( name it as you like )

2- inside this folder make a ( TXT ) file & copy inside it this:

Code:

cls
@ECHO OFF
title Folder Private
if EXIST "Control Panel.{21EC2020-3AEA-1069-A2DD-08002B30309D}" goto UNLOCK
if NOT EXIST Private goto MDLOCKER
:CONFIRM
echo Are you sure you want to lock the folder(Y/N)
set/p "cho=>"
if %cho%==Y goto LOCK
if %cho%==y goto LOCK
if %cho%==n goto END
if %cho%==N goto END
echo Invalid choice.
goto CONFIRM
:LOCK
ren Private "Control Panel.{21EC2020-3AEA-1069-A2DD-08002B30309D}"
attrib +h +s "Control Panel.{21EC2020-3AEA-1069-A2DD-08002B30309D}"
echo Folder locked
goto End
:UNLOCK
echo Enter password to unlock folder
set/p "pass=>"
if NOT %pass%== password here goto FAIL
attrib -h -s "Control Panel.{21EC2020-3AEA-1069-A2DD-08002B30309D}"
ren "Control Panel.{21EC2020-3AEA-1069-A2DD-08002B30309D}" Private
echo Folder Unlocked successfully
goto End
:FAIL
echo Invalid password
goto end
:MDLOCKER
md Private
echo Private created successfully
goto End
:End

3- after u copy the Commanding go to line ( 23 ) u will find this word : password here (Change it with ) any password u like.

4- After that make ‘save as’ & name as (locker.bat )

5- Now back to the folder & u will find a ( LOCKER ) commanding.

6- Click on it & u will find a new folder (Private )

7- Ok ,, now copy what u want in it & after that go to ( locker ) by click on it , it will open and ask you want lock your folder? Y/N ?

8- Type Y

9- If you want UNLOCK your folder ,go to (locker) & type your pass and you will see your private folder.

1, 2, and 3. The Original Star Wars Trilogy.
4. Indiana Jones And The Raiders Of the Lost Ark
5. The Matrix
6. The Lost Boys
7. The Goonies
8. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
9. It’s a Wonderful Life
10.Spaceballs
11.Napolean Dynamite
12. The Simpsons Movie

Why Twelve? Because I like to be one step ahead of that guy with the glasses

1. Don't tell everything you know, it WILL be stolen

General Custer is surrounded by Indians and he’s the only cowboy left.

He finds an old lamp in front of him and rubs it. Out pops a genie. The genie grants Custer one wish, with a catch. He says, “Whatever you wish for, each Indian will get two of the same thing.”
Custer ponders a while and thinks:”If I get a bow and arrow they get two. If I get a rifle they get two!” He then rubs the bottle again and out pops the genie. “Well,” the genie asks “have you made up your mind?”

What did Custer ask for to help him get away?

The Pope has it but he does not use it.
Your father has it but your mother uses it.
Nuns do not need it.
Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one,
Michael J. Fox’s is quite small.
What is it?

Ok, this is a bit housewifey, but my mom wanted me to post it.

1. Delicious Fruit Cake Serves 4

Baked-Fruitcake

1 kg mixed fruit
2 cups fruit juice
2 cups self raising flour

Preheat oven to 125C. Soak fruit in juice for 2 hours. Stir flour into soaked fruit and mix well. Put into large lined baking tin. Bake for 2 hours in the bottom of your oven on 130C. Remove and leave to cool. Put into container or wrap in foil. Keep for 2-3 days before cutting.

2. Easy Pineapple Cake

Pineapple-Cake

2 cups self raising flour
1 cup sugar
450g can crushed pineapple

Sift flour into a mixing bowl and combine with sugar. Add pineapple and mix well. Pour into a greased cake tin and bake at 180C for 40 minutes.
(For best results bake in a ring cake tin.)

3. Scones Makes 12

Scones

4 cups self raising flour
300ml cream
1 can lemonade

Sift self raising flour into a bowl, make a well and pour in cream and lemonade. Mix to make a firm dough, roll out, cut with a scone cutter and bake in a hot oven until golden brown.

4. Mango, Avocado and Bacon Salad Serves 4

Mg 0602

2 large mangoes
2 avocadoes
8 rashers of cooked, crispy bacon

Cube Mangoes and avocados, cut bacon in largish chunks and mix together in a small bowl.

Just paying the bills…

5. Potato Bake Serves 6

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6 potatoes
300ml tub of cream
1 pkt French Onion Soup mix

Slice potatoes into 1cm thick slices, place into a baking dish. Combine cream and soup mix, pour over potatoes and bake in oven at 180C for 30 minutes.

6. Sweet and Spicy Chicken Serves 2

Bakedchillichicken3

6 chicken legs
½ cup of orange marmalade
1-2 tsp chili powder

Preheat oven to 180C. Combine marmalade and chili powder in a plastic bag, add chicken legs and shake until evenly coated. Place chicken on foil on a baking tray and spoon any remaining marmalade/chili powder. Bake for 30 minutes or until done.

7. Baked Fish Serves 2

Lemonbaked

2 fresh white fish fillets
1 tsp butter
1 lemon

Coat fish with melted butter and then season with salt and pepper. Cut lemon and put slices on fish. Wrap fish in foil and cook in oven for 20 minutes at 180C.

8. Moroccan Salmon Serves 2

13759

2 Salmon Steaks
Macadamia nut oil spray
Moroccan seasoning

Place Salmon on foil on a baking tray. Spray with cooking oil and coat thoroughly with Moroccan Seasoning. Bake at 160C for 15 minutes.

9. Apple Turnovers Serves 8

Apple Turnover Big

2 sheets of puff pastry
1 tin pie apple with cinnamon
2 tbs milk

Cut the pastry in quarters. Fill one side of the quarter with pie apple, and then fold into turnovers. Glaze with milk for a golden finish and bake in a hot oven for 10 minutes.

10. Mini Muffins Makes 12

Cornmuffins

1 cup self raising flour sifted
1 cup thickened cream, not whipped
3 tbs raw sugar

Combine all ingredients and mix well. Pour into mini muffin tray. Bake for 10 minutes at 180C.

Firefox

* Page down and up. Spacebar for page down, Shift-Spacebar for page up.
Find. Ctrl+F, or Alt-N for find next.
Bookmark page. Ctrl+D.
Quick find. /.
New tab. Ctrl+T.
Go to search box. Ctrl+K.
Go to address bar. Ctrl+L.
Text size. Ctrl+= to increase text size and Ctrl+- to decrease text size.
Close tab. Ctrl-W.
Reload. F5.
Go to home page. Alt-Home.
Re-open closed tab. Ctrl+Shift+T.
Keyword bookmarks. This is the most productive tip of all. If you go to a site a lot, bookmark it (of course), and then go to that bookmark's properties (right-click on it). Give it a short keyword in the keyword field, save, and from then on, you can just go to the address bar (Ctrl-L) and type that keyword to go to your site.

Gmail

* Compose. C.
Reply. R.
Reply all. A.
Forward. F.
Archive, and next. Y+O archives the current message and opens the next.
Delete, and next. #+O (i.e. Shift-3 + O) to delete and then open the next message.
Send. Tab-Enter to send a message after composing it.
Search. /.
Navigate. J and K to move up and down your list of messages.
Conversation view. N and P to move to the next or previous messages in Conversation view.
Mute. M will archive a conversation and make all future messages in that conversation skip your inbox.
Select conversation. X will select and check a conversation so you can tag, archive or apply an action.
Save draft. Control-S.
Go to inbox. G+I.
Go to Starred. G+S.
* Go to Contacts. G+C.

Google Reader

* Item up/down. J and K.
Page up/down. Space or Shift-Space.
Toggle star. S.
Toggle share. Shift-S.
Mark as read/unread. M.
Open. V opens the current post in a new tab.
Keyboard shortcuts. ? will bring up a help screen.

Windows

* Create application shortcuts. To create a keyboard shortcut to any application, right-click on the application's shortcut icon (such as those on your desktop), and enter a keyboard combination, such as Ctrl-Alt-W for MS Word.
Toggle between apps. Alt-Tab until you land on the app you want, then let both keys up. Or hold down the Windows key and press Tab to cycle through taskbar buttons to get to your app, then press Enter. Adding the Shift key to either method cycles in reverse.
Go to the desktop. Windows key-D.
Context menu. Instead of right-clicking to get a context menu, press Shift-F10. Then scroll up or down the menu with the arrow keys.
Shut down. To quickly shut down your computer, press Windows key and then U. Once there you can also type S for Standby mode, U to shut down, or R to restart.
Most common. You know these, but for true noobs, some common application shortcuts: Ctrl-O for open, Ctrl-S for Save, Ctrl-N for New, Ctrl-W to close a window, Ctrl-C to copy, Ctrl-V to paste, Ctrl-X to cut. Ctrl-Z to undo, Ctrl-Y to redo. To see the clipboard's contents in MS Office, press Ctrl-C twice. Ctrl-Home to move to the top of a document, Ctrl-End to move to the bottom.
Menu bar. Pressing Alt gets you to the menu bar, and you can scroll around using the arrow keys. Alt plus the underlined letter of each menu option takes you to that option. Or just memorize the keyboard shortcut for that option for even faster keyboarding.
Windows Explorer. Windows-E goes to My Computer. Then use the following.
Display subfolders. NUM LOCK + Asterick Sign(*).
Display contents. NUM LOCK + PLUS Sign(+).
Collapse selection. NUM LOCK + Minus Sign(-).
Highlight text. In a document, use Ctrl-Shift plus arrow keys to highlight blocks of text quickly. Ctrl-A to highlight everything at once.
Permanent delete. Shift-Delete will delete an item permanently without sending to the Recycle bin.

Mac OS

* Toggle Dock. Option-Cmd-D to show and hide the Dock.
Hide others. Cmd-Option-H hides every other app besides the one you're in. Simplifies your screen.
Close Finder windows. Cmd-W to close the current window. Option-Cmd-W to close all the windows in an application.
Expand folders. Option-Cmd-Right Arrow to expand a folder and nested sub folders in List View in the Finder.
Forward and back. Cmd-[ and Cmd-] works in the Finder, Safari and Firefox.
Screen capture. Cmd-Shift-3 for the entire screen. Cmd-Shift-4 to give you cross hairs to create a selection on the screen.
Log out. Shift-Cmd-Q gives you 2 minutes to change your mind before logging out.
Shift-Option-Cmd-Q doesn't give you that time.
Empty Trash. Shift-Cmd-Delete.
New tab in Safari. Cmd-T.
Help. Cmd-shift-?.
Boot from CD. Press C during startup (right after the chime) to boot from a CD.
Change startup volume. Option-Cmd-Shift-Delete during startup bypasses the primary startup volume and seeks another startup volume such as a CD or disk.
Super Get Info. Cmd-Option-I brings up a live Get Info window, enabling you to view and alter many file and folder stats with a single window.
Sleep, restart and shutdown. Cmd-option-eject, Cmd-ctrl-eject, and Cmd-Option-ctrl-eject.
Force Quit. Cmd-opt-Esc is a basic but very useful one.
* Quick FTP. For quick and dirty FTP, Cmd-K will open the Connect to Server command.

Excel

* Edit cell. F2, probably the best shortcut to know.
Select current column. Ctrl-Space.
Select current row. Shift-Space.
Format as currency. Ctrl+Shift+4 (i.e. Ctrl+$).
Format as percentage. Ctrl+Shift+5 (i.e. Ctrl+%).
Home. Ctrl-Home selects A1 on the current worksheet.
Insert date. Ctrl-Semicolon.
Insert time. Ctrl-Colon.
Copy above cell. Ctrl-Double Quote enters a copy of the cell above (without formatting).
Format Cells. Ctrl-1 opens Format Cells dialog box.
Navigate worksheets. Ctrl-Page Up and Ctrl-Page Down.
* Multiple enter. Ctrl-Enter instead of just Enter after entering data into one of several preselected cells will put the data in all those cells.

Word

* Default formatting. Ctrl-Space turns on normal style for the current selection or subsequent typing.
Paragraph spacing. Ctrl-0 (zero above the letter keys) adds or removes a line of spacing above the current paragraph. Ctrl-1 (above the letter keys) changes paragraph to single-line spaces. Ctrl-2 (above the letter keys) double-spaces the paragraph. Ctrl-5 (above the letter keys) makes the paragraph to 1.5-line spacing.
Updating date/time. Alt-Shift-D inserts an updating date. Alt-Shift-T inserts an updating time.

Internet Explorer

* Navigate. Alt-Left Arrow and Alt-Right Arrow to go back or forward, and Ctrl-N to start a new window.
Favorites. Ctrl-D to put the current page in your favorite list. Ctrl-B to open the Organize Favorites dialog box.
Quick address. To quickly to to an URL, type Ctrl-L and enter the address.
Home. Alt-Home to go to your home page.
Refresh. Ctrl-F5.
* Find. Ctrl-F.

Outlook

* Send/receive. To send or receive mail on default accounts, press F5.
Go to inbox. Ctrl+Shift+I.
Go to the Outbox. Ctrl+Shift+O.
Reply. Ctrl+R.
Mark as read. Ctrl+Q
New message. Ctrl+Shift+M.
New contact. Ctrl+Shift+C.
* New appointment. Ctrl+Shift+A.

AutoHotKey

* Mac OSX users will use Quicksilver, which can do virtually anything using the keyboard. Windows users don't have that luxury, but there is AutoHotKey (http://www.autohotkey.com/download), which takes a little bit of setup, but can do some wondrous things for your productivity once you've entered all your favorites and their hotkeys.
Signatures. Set up the text replacement features of AHK to type in one of your multiple signatures quickly. For example wsig1 and wsig2 could each expand to one of your two work signatures, and so on.
Common email replies. Do you type some of the same replies every day? Enter them into AHK, each with a shortcut of just a few letters, and they will instantly expand to your common replies.
Common html code. Use the same codes over and over each day? Set up AHK to enter them much more quickly.
App launcher. Launch every commonly-used application with a keyboard shortcut of your choice.
Favorite web pages. All of my most commonly used web pages (banks, Gmail, Google Reader, and many more) have a quick-key combination assigned.
Favorite folders. Have certain folders you open a lot? Assign keystrokes.
* Favorite documents. You get the idea. This is great for commonly-used templates, or logs, that you open a lot.

# My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.

# My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

# My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.

# Shooting is not too good for my enemies.

# The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

# I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.

# When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."

# After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.

# I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.

# I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.

# I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.

# One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.

# All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.

# The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.

# I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.

# I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."

# When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.

# I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.

# I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.

# Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.

# I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.

# No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.

# I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.

# I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)

# No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.

# No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber.

# I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.

# My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.

# I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.

# All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.

# All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.

# I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.

# I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.

# I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.

# I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.

# I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.

# If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant.

# If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.

# If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.

# I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.

# Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices.

# When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.

# I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans.

# I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.

# I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.

# If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and kill the advisor.

# If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.

# I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.

# If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.

# My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks.

# If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position.

# I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.

# If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!", I will say "Oh well" and kill her.

# I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.

# The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.

# My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.

# Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual.

# If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner.

# I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am.

# My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords.

# If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.

# I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight.

# Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals.

# I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.

# If I must have computer systems with publically available terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment.

# My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system.

# No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency.

# I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my life again.

# All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild.

# When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner.

# If I decide to test a lieutenant's loyalty and see if he/she should be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen standing by in case the answer is no.

# If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of using my unstoppable superweapon on them.

# I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though my advisors assure me it is impossible for them to win.

# When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk.

# I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time.

# If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.)

# If I have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give the hero the chance to reject a job as my trusted lieutentant, I will retain enough sanity to wait until my current trusted lieutenant is out of earshot before making the offer.

# I will not tell my Legions of Terror "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."

# If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited-edition commemorative coins.

# If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress.

# If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.

# I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure.

# If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him.

# I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex.

# I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of "Push the button."

# I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded.

# My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.

# If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again.

# After I captures the hero's superweapon, I will not immediately disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took it from him.

# I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.

# I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important.

# If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say this his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.)

# If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is scheduled to go first.

# When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value.

# My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells the guard it's an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team instead of opening up the cell for a look.

# My door mechanisms will be designed so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa.

# My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unravelled.

# If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.

# Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size.

# Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.

# Use CB lingo where applicable.
# Answer their questions with questions.
# Ask, "If I don't eat it all, can I return the unused portion for credit?"
# Ask if the drivers really carry less than $20 in change. When they confirm this, act disappointed and say, "Ok, well could you send two drivers?"
# Tell them you would like to see a copy of their restaurant inspection report.
# Say in a retarded voice, "I had pizza today, it had jello on it."
# Ask them what toppings are best for someone who's constipated.
# Stop them in mid-sentence and tell them you'll call back after they've learned a little respect.
# When they ask where to deliver it, give them their address. Insist it's your address.
# As they start to repeat the order, say, "Oh wait just a second. I suppose I should get this on tape."
# Use these bonus words in the conversation: ROBUST FREE-SPIRITED COST-EFFICIENT UKRAINIAN PUCE.
# Tell them to put the crust on top this time.
# Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song from Metallica's "Master of Puppets" CD.
# Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.
# Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.
# Make a list of exotic cuisine. Order them as toppings.
# Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.
# Rent a pizza.
# Order while using an electric knife sharpener.
# Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.
# Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.
# Imitate the order taker's voice.
# Eliminate verbs from your speech.
# Play sitar in the background.
# Ask to see a menu.
# Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza.
# Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.
# Use expletives like "Great Caesar's Ghost" and "Jesus Joseph and Mary in Tinsel Town."
# If the order taker suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet words."
# Start the conversation with "My Call to (Pizza Place), Take 1. And. . . . action!"
# When they repeat your order, say "Again, with a little more OOMPH this time!"
# Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza."
# When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza.
# Learn to play a blues riff on the harmonica. Stop talking at regular intervals to play it.
# If they answer the phone with their name, immediately use an obviously fake voice. Somewhere during the call, laugh and revert to your real voice. Say, "Geez, (Mike) you really don't know who this is do you? I'm only in town for a few hours, but wanted to say, "hi." See if you can get away for a few minutes, I'll be by right away." Hang up.
# When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say, "You just don't get it, do you?"
# When you're given the price, say "Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math."
# Order a one-inch pizza.
# Order with a Speak-n-Spell where applicable.
# Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say "No mushrooms, please." Hang up before they have a chance to respond.
# Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If the order taker says it, say "Please don't mention that word."
# Have a movie with a good car chase scene playing loudly in the background. Yell "OW!" when a bullet is fired.
# Order a steamed pizza.
# Offer to pay for the pizza with a public flogging.

# Use to keep President Clinton's pants up.
# Cute plant holder.
# Keep hair in place.
# Make a tie out of it.
# Chastity belt.
# Blister repair.
# Censor speech on softball uniforms.
# Repair pantyhose.
# Roll it over a pool and make a trampoline.
# Keeping guitar strap on your guitar.
# Taping mic to mic stand (or a hockey stick).
# Taping mic stand to amp.
# Hold a float together.
# Fix mini blinds.
# Get rid of plantars warts.
# Hold telephone together.
# Hold computer mouse together.
# Write on vehicles.
# Muzzle.
# Make a Halloween mask.
# Decorate guard rifles.
# Make really cool underwear.
# Make a mummy costume for Halloween.
# When you get in a really boring conversation pull it out and ask the other person if they can name 101 uses for it (plus or minus 70 or 80).
# Attach underwater flashlight to underwater strobe for night dives.
# Hold a car battery in.
# Headbands.
# Jewelry.
# Attach glow-in-the-dark bugs to people's houses.
# Fixing the toilet seat.
# Torture.
# Window shade.
# Hair extensions.
# Seat covering for a 1963 Vespa GS 160 (or any other vehicle for that matter).
# Wrap around cardboard tube to make fake swords for the kids.
# Waterproof apron.
# Beverage holders.
# Cooler.
# Pet rain gear.
# Toilet paper roll cover.
# Cell phone holder.
# Tool belt.
# Shower curtain.
# Repair speaker cones.
# Poor man's Viagra - two Popsicle sticks and duct tape.
# Hold the plastic (or Mylar) on your car where the window should be.
# Wrap a "365 Uses For Duct Tape" calendar for Christmas.
# Hold up worn out socks.
# Suspenders.
# Tape keys to bottom of car so you never lose them.

# Hold car door shut.
# Tape plastic over broken rear window in car.
# Tape down ripped carpet.
# Tape sole of ratty sneaker to body of sneaker.
# Hold speaker wire to the back of speaker.
# Use it as a Biore strip.
# Practical joke toilet paper replacement.
# Makes a good bib.
# Put it on your lawn and paint it green. Say good-bye to mowing.
# Mouse trap.
# Fly paper.
# Tape your little brothers' mouths shut.
# Use as vinyl flooring.
# Cover rust holes in your car.
# Ashtray.
# Roofing shingles.
# Make a clothes line.
# Window coverings.
# Use a roof rack on your car for carrying luggage and other items.
# Fix a broken plate.
# Patch a hole in your swimming pool.
# Make a swing for your kids.
# Make a tent for camping.
# For the annoying mother-in-law.
# Lock people into their house, school, office, etc.
# Hold your car's bumper in place.
# Seat covers in your car.
# Fix holes in your sock.
# Fix the hole in your favorite coffee cup.
# Make a coffee cup.
# Retread your tennis shoes.
# Earmuffs.
# Repair work gloves.
# Make work gloves.
# Home security system - tape up doors and windows.
# Watch band.
# CD case.
# Wrap a soda can or bottle in duct tape to keep it cold.
# Makes stylish notebook decorations.
# Use it to fix old instruments.
# Use it as a dog/cat/rabbit/frog/lizard/etc. leash.
# Hold on toupees.
# Duct tape annoying, rambunctious students to their seats.
# Reupholster the roof on a '83 Mustang convertible (or any vehicle for that matter).
# Attach it to the end of a yard stick (sticky side out) as a way to get pennies out from behind the couch.
# Surgical bandage.
# Fix a cigarette that is broken at the filter.
# A clothesline when you're out in the middle of nowhere. (Peace Corps favorite.)
# Use it as a substitute for Bondo.
# Makes excellent streamers for bicycle handlebars.
# Toilet seat cover.
# Reflectors.
# Replace broken screen in your screen doors to create an excellent storm door for those cold winter nights.
# Makes great posters with the aid of magic markers.
# Make a sheet for your bed.
# Wrap freshmen up in it.
# Use to make the lines in the middle of the road.
# Make a space suit out of it so you can walk on the moon.
# Use as a musical instrument.
# Make a hat.
# Make a wallet chain out of it.
# Stare at it and try to find new uses for it.
# Make a boat out of it.
# Throw it at people.
# Write on it and stick to someone's back.
# Put a few rolls on their side and roll them to have a duct tape race!
# Tape a hedge trimmer or chain saw to a long pole in order to trim or cut tall trees.
# Use it as hockey tape.
# Tape Tupperware containers together in a way that you can stack them on top of each other for more storage space.
# Use to keep the cover of an old ice cream maker securely attached.
# Cut a hole in a piece of cardboard, wrap duct tape around it and get a really inexpensive original looking picture frame.
# Tape Nerf basketball hoop to the back of a door because they just don't stay on their own.
# Make a pouch and attach it to a door so you can hold stuff.
# Repair smashed pumpkin.
# Waterproof sun screen for bald men.
# Snowmobile/motorcycle seat cover.
# Hold broken U-joints together on truck so you can make it home.
# Makes a good replacement for chrome.
# Patch holes in convertibles or soft top jeeps.
# Resurface your trampoline.
# Artificial lighting.
# Use it to tape 10 year olds with sugar highs to trees during boyscout trips.
# Can be made to fashion weapons in a pinch.
# Emergency limb replacements.
# Prosthetics.
# Make fantastic puppets and other toys.
# Can be used to clean the floor when no vacuum is available.
# S & M.
# Make a ball.
# Repair trim on cars.
# Patch up fish tank.
# Halloween costume.
# Waterproof footwear.
# Make a makeup case.
# Repair leak in pilot gas line.
# Gagging device.
# Pin striping.
# Wrapping Christmas presents.
# Patch seams in carpeting.
# Patch a hole in a tent.
# No need for lunch box - just tape all your food together!

# Hanging posters.
# Decorative book cover.
# Fix broken tail light on vehicle.
# Twist a long piece into rope (thousands more uses).
# Tape wires down on floor or out of the way.
# Tape wires back together after splicing (much wider than electricians' tape).
# Reattach rear view mirror.
# Repair cracked windshield/window.
# Patch ripped clothing.
# Hide unsightly wallpaper seams.
# Repair broken hoses.
# Repair broken fan belt.
# Use as art medium.
# Fix broken book binding.
# Band-Aid for really big cuts.
# Attach leg splint to broken leg.
# Wallpaper your house (may be slightly expensive, but well worth it for the resulting sophisticated look).
# Reinforce pages in 3 ring binder.
# Cover up empty drive bays.
# Fold in half and use as bookmark.
# Disk labels.
# Rappelling harness.
# Toilet paper.
# Hinge on cabinet door.
# Repairing leak in tire/inner tube.
# Taping annoying people to walls, floor, ceiling, or bed.
# Holding together computer cases.
# Hold up exhaust pipe (doesn't last very long).
# Repair upholstery.
# Make lawn furniture.
# Make lawn decorations.
# Fix racquetball racquets.
# Roll into a ball for hockey practice.
# Mark lines on a sporting event field.
# Clothing � all sorts.
# Can be use to wrap duct work, but doesn't seal or hold up ducts very well.
# Use to pull unsightly hair.
# Keeps pledges in their place (also applies to siblings).
# Patches holes in vinyl siding.
# An entire roll can be used in place of a bedroom door to keep someone in for hours.
# Twisted correctly, can be used as a billy-club.
# Wrapped around newspaper to make a dog chew toy.
# Holding on book covers.
# Reflective lettering.
# Mute function for humans.
# Contraceptive device.
# Climbing rope.
# Earrings.
# Cover old pocket folders -- lasts forever!
# Shoe designs.
# Girdle.
# Sealing envelopes (in case you hate the taste of envelope glue).
# Replacement for airplane glue.
# For store owners: great way to keep the wigs on mannequins.
# Seat belts that'll REALLY keep the kids still.
# Closing chip bags.
# Make the stapler obsolete!
# Putting up Christmas lights (easy removal).
# Why bother with waxing...
# Add several layers to your car's bumpers for a much safer ride.
# Fix vacuum cleaner hose.
# Tape ski boot to your ski when the binding breaks.
# Repair seams of ski gloves.
# Wrap around your waist when your zipper splits in a one piece ski suit.
# Lift and separate when you don't want to wear a bra or can't have straps showing.
# Hold temple onto eye glasses.
# Fix printer.
# Make a wallet out of it.
# Hold car hood shut.
# Patch hole in canoe.
# Fixing sets for the school play.
# Making props look more realistic.
# Make letter for letter jacket.
# Hold your letter to your letter jacket.
# Re-enforce the phone cord.
# Hold batteries in remote control.
# Play a CD (reflect a laser beam onto a CD to play it).
# Stick pictures up in your locker.
# Fix holes in your Airwalks.
# Use instead of nail polish.
# Hold pens together.
# Belt.
# Wrap your ankle for sports.
# Can be used in place of handcuffs.
# Rings.
# Hold file cabinet together.
# Hold shoe laces together.
# Can replace shoe laces.
# Can be used in place of Velcro.
# Write term paper on it.
# Graduation present.
# Can be used to put back together a shredded term paper.
# Stop your jeans from fraying.
# Hair ties.
# Hold spikes to your cleats.
# Make a book shelf.
# Necklace.
# Note cards.
# Remove lint from clothes.
# Makes great bumper stickers with a sharpie!
# Cook a baked potato in it.

Welcome to the Pocket mod discussion forum. Here, you can download PDF files and mods for the pocket mod program, which can be downloaded here:
http://www.mediafire.com/?eznytmdo0no
once you download it, you can make the easiest pocket organizer ever, for the price of a sheet a paper.
other users are recommended to use mediafire or plunder for file hosting
post any mods and enjoy!

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules:
“The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students.
Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you $180. Are there any questions?”
Then one of the student asked, “How much for a season pass?”

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:
What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life? Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it’s the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.

A young girl was going on a date. Her grandmother said: “Sit here and let me tell you about those young boys. He is going to try and kiss you, you are going to like that, but don’t let him do that.
He is going to try and feel your breast, you are going to like that but don’t let him do that. But most important, he is going to try and get on top of you to have his way with you. You are going to like that, but don’t let him do that. It will disgrace the family.”
With that bit of advice, the granddaughter went on her date. The next day she told grandma that her date went just like she had predicted: “Grandma, I didn’t let him disgrace the family. When he tried, I just turned over, got on top of him, and disgraced His family…”
Granny fainted…

well last summer me and some of my friends were bored so we decide since the next day was garbage day that we would scare the shit out of the garbage man so we went and got the box to my friends new hot water heater and and stuck it out by the garbage can at about 6 o'clock the next morning my friend Brent went outside in only his boxers and a pair of pink house shoes and hid in the box. When the garbage man came and tried to pick up the box Brent jumped out of the box cussing and screaming at the garbage man asking why he was trying to take away his house then ran down the street screaming. I was in the bushes in front of his house filming it it was crazy. then the garbage man tried to chase Brent down the street but stopped.

A REAL Prank "Scavenger Hunt"

First, eating a booger or a worm is not a prank. Nor is getting kicked out of a store, nor is getting arrested. And while going down a fire house poll is funny, it's not a prank, either. Here's a list of a fun scavenger hunt that actually includes pranks (and/or vandalizations that are close to pranks)... ...this list includes a good number of classic pranks, original pranks, modern pranks, revenge pranks, on-TV pranks, autonomous pranks, and anonymous pranks. My only claim in this scavenger hunt is that some of them are original, and that I put this compilation together by myself. this is for entertainment purposes only, and we know that stealing is a crime, so you CAN choose not to do a stealing one.

Point of the game: Whichever team of 5 or less people earn 100 points first -- and can back their actions up by a videotape -- wins. You must adhere to each tier's rules. Each number must be completed at a different house, business, or location than any previous or forthcoming prank. Remember to bring back at least one item from each number, whether it's an empty carton of eggs, shopping cart, tire lug nut, or a dinner plate. Accepted items and other number ideas must be approved by the contest's manager.

Tier 1: 5 points per number completed. Must complete at least 4.
1. Throw a whole carton of eggs at cars passing under an overpass.
2. TP an enemy's house. The majority of the roof and trees must be covered by TP.
3. Write obscene messages in window paint or shoe shine on a person's car windows.
4. Find a house with a clothes line and re-hang all of their clothes upside down.
5. Glue an entire block's worth of mailboxes closed. (Must use appropriate glue!)
6. Pay for $20 worth of junk with just change(no full dollar coins).
7. Egg at least 10 bystanders/pedestrians. You must hit them.
8. Glue newspapers on a house's windows.
9. Drive around a grocery store or shopping center in a motorized shopping cart.
10. Take all of the toilet paper from a grocery store, gas station, or other business bathroom. You must collect at least three rolls from the bathroom (from any number of locations it takes to get three rolls).
11. At a sit-down restaurant, steal an entire meal set (one plate, one fork, spoon, and kife, one glass).
12. Go to an old person's home and ride a wheelchair around the complex.
13. Set off a stink bomb in a shopping center or business bathroom.
14. Set off 5 large fireworks in a shopping center parkinglot.
15. Attach 5 obscene bumper stickers to cars.
16. Detach the toilet seats (and steal the bolts) from a public bathroom (or business bathroom).
17. Steal the keys to the bathroom of a gas station.
18. Stand in an elevator and press the wrong number for the incoming person's level. Do this to five different passengers.
19. Reattach a store's outside signs upside down.
20. Plastic wrap someone inside their car.

Tier 2: 10 points per number completed. Must complete at least 2.
1. Cement your neighbor's house doors shut.
2. Pour bubble bath into a mall or shopping center's water fountain.
3. Remove the tires of a person's car. Put clothes on the tires and put them inside the car as if they are passengers.
4. Shoot at least 10 bystanders/pedestrians with a paintball gun.
5. Reattach at least 5 price stickers on customer's clothes. Video must include these people walking out of the store and getting caught.
6. Pick up on the all-store loudspeaker and announce a clean up in the tampon isle.
7. Ski on the road behind a car using rollerblades. You must blade for at least one mile or through a busy town.
8. Pull up to a hitchhiker. When they go to get in your car for a ride, drive away.
9. Call a towing company and get a person's car towed. Must get the tow on camera.
10. Take a poop in a public pool.

Tier 3: 25 points per number completed. Must complete at least 1.
1. Move a person's car (for whom you do not know) to their neighbor's driveway. 10 extra points for every extra car you move to this person's driveway (Limit: 3 cars in all).
2. Take at least 50 signs and/or lawn ornaments from previously pranked houses/businesses (or nearby) and put them on the lawn of just one house. You must count each sign/ornament on the tape. 10 extra points if they are arranged in an aesthetically appealing design.
3. Move a person's furniture outside the house and move the person's lawn ornaments inside the house. 25 extra points if the furniture is moved on top of the house.
4. In super hero costumes, go around a business for at least 10 minutes acting out a storyline. 10 extra points if you can get 2+ employees to act in the storyline.
5. look for change in the middle of a mall of shopping center. You must pick up at least $2 worth of change. 10 extra points if all of guys wear just speedoes.
6. Streak [naked] at a professional sporting event, large/busy business, or another high-priority event. Only one person must do this, but they must run through the "center" or through the most popular location of the store or event. 10 extra points if you can take an object from a customer's or spectator's hands while running naked.
7 go into a changing room in a store with a ton of novelty t shirts. Steal at least three. Ten more points for each extra item stolen.
Now THAT is a Prank Scavenger Hunt!

Whenever somebody is in the porta potty go around it and make sure the person inside can hear you and say something like "We should tip it over." and then have a friend be like "Okay." Then run into the side really fast and it will scare the shit out of them. I've done this a couple of times and one time some fat ass was in there and he came out with his pants still down and since the porta potty was next to a baseball game everybody saw him.